Wow.
The last time I opened up this thing to write anything was in March of this year. Lots of things happened since then, and at this point, I may need to change the name of the blog due to the last General Conference.
...
I don't really know where to begin. This year started off so amazing and yet as I'm here at the end, I feel... kind of numb.
My life for those of you who know me has been somewhat of a roller coaster filled with highs and lows. And while I'd have to say that this year may have been the lowest dip in the roller coaster (hopefully forever), I'd have to say that the whole #QuestForPositivity-thing has still been a factor.
I won't sugar coat anything in this post. Those who know me or are reading this know that I went through a crippling divorce this year and also that I went through some seriously dark moments of my life where I would find myself on a Porter park bench at 2 in the morning crying my heart out and asking "Is there any other way to go through this?!" To the point that I was questioning my very existence and the meaning of my own life. Today (December 20), was to be the one year anniversary I married my ex-wife.
I've been studying in the Book of Mormon recently and one of the things I read about a week ago (Dec. 14) was that Nephi had to go from seeing the destruction of his people to having a conversation with the two people whose descendants would cause that same destruction. In this little section in 1st Nephi 15, Nephi gets a little frustrated. He shows his human side a little I believe by how he calls out his brethren for not seeking to understand their father's dream like he had to do. But then he uses it as a teaching moment, and I think this one little section may be the one section of the Book of Mormon where he and the brothers who will and already have sought to kill him, have a nice lesson together. But before he does this, Nephi says (v. 6), "And it came to pass that after I had received strength I spake unto my brethren..."
It made me reflect on my own life. Yes, it's probably been the worst year of my life. I've made a ton of mistakes and bad decisions which has led to many people I love getting hurt emotionally. My heart has been torn up, galvanized, put back together again slowly, and then shredded, but honestly... I wouldn't have it any other way.
Just how Nephi used his devastating experience as a teaching moment, I'd like to do the same if you don't mind. So, after receiving some "strength," here are my thoughts.
...
The Quest For Positivity isn't just something where you have a great day every day. It's something to use when you are having a really really crappy day too. The thing I've learned most this year is that often times when things are the hardest is when you need to see the positives the most in life. I have seen people deal with almost the exact same challenges I've faced completely differently, where they have become bitter people who will only see things negatively or from one point of view. There is no change, no growth, no progression. It's depressing because when you look at it in the long run, those who often are able to move on in life are those who do not dwell on their mistakes or past transgressions, they are those who seek to uplift others and teach them how to grow themselves.
One of the most touching things I've received this December for Christmas was a Christmas card from the guy I've referenced every time I've talked about the Quest For Positivity. Justin Scarred has become a bit of my idol when it comes to learning about Disney, theme parks, and other random places and facts. He actually was going through custody battles and a lot of stress, and some people came up with an idea for him to autograph Christmas cards for $10 so that he and his family could have a good Christmas after struggling with all the court charges. I wrote him a small letter saying I couldn't afford to pay that due to a lot of other finances and issues I was going through at the time, but thanked him for his inspiration through my own divorce. What surprised me was that Justin docked the price for me so that if I just paid for shipping ($1) I could have my own Christmas card addressed personally to me. I got it in the mail and it was by far a tender mercy.
What Justin and so many of you have taught me this year is that by lifting others and being more empathetic as a person, we can really seek to understand other individuals on a deeper, and stronger level. My life isn't going the way I thought it would, but in reality, whose is? I just plan on being my best self and persevering through as many trials as I can. If I stumble, I know I can get back up.
I encourage all of you who are battling depression, anxiety, or any other issue around this time of year to look up towards the One who freely offers peace. He truly offers it to all who are struggling like you and especially like me. And most importantly He knows perfectly what each individual is struggling because He took that upon Himself too, and not just our sins. He is the reason for the season.
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Monday, December 26, 2016
My New Years Resolution: #QuestForPositivity
Returning Home from 2 year mission to the Tennessee Nashville Mission
May 25th, 2016
I faithfully, and successfully, finished a two year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints which was really the hardest thing I've ever loved to do. I met so many good people those last five and 3/4 months and it was sad to leave. I miss it often and I think about everyone there frequently. I apply many techniques that I learned there to my home life and have enjoyed the blessings from serving. (If the Cubs winning the World Series was a product of that, then I am immensely grateful for that too).
Humor Code Show Curtain Call
November 2016
I finished my fifth (but more like third academically) semester at BYU-Idaho with flying colors, bringing my GPA up to above a 3.0 which is the first time it has been that high since my 1st semester. (Which incidentally ended with a 0.72. Yeah. I don't look too fondly on that semester). I joined Humor Code, which is a sketch comedy group on campus (similar to Studio C or a clean version of SNL) and have immensely enjoyed working with them and performing comedy to loads of people. I also was accepted to be a Teacher Assistant for one of my favorite classes ever.
But looking back, there were still many really hard times that I was genuinely scared about. Or times where I was really depressed or witnessed others experiencing similar problems. I started to look for different techniques and ways that I could stay positive. It started with a goal.
On the actual front (so backside) of Sleeping Beauty's Castle at Disneyland
August 2016
I felt like I needed to have something to work towards in the future. Something to get really excited about that was definitely attainable. I had no idea what I wanted to major in, so I thought of instead aiming for a specific job. Currently that job would be working for Walt Disney World in some way or fashion. I didn't know how I'd get there, but that was the goal. I started researching like crazy, looking up any facts or opinions on park systems, history, cast member applications, the works. I literally asked for nothing but Disney stuff for Christmas this year. A lot of my family think I'm borderline obsessed.
Justin Scarred in Death Valley
Among my research I came across this guy named Justin Scarred. He's a not too well known YouTuber (as of right now he has a little over 50,000 subscribers), who is also obsessed with Disney and tours the parks frequently. The guy has been through a lot, but one thing that I was so intrigued about was his sense of positivity. Every video, every interview, every time I saw him he was always so positive and happy. Not to mention very funny. And then I discovered it was because he decided to live his life as a "Quest for Positivity," The dude literally has bracelets that says that. And it really clicked with me. This video was his latest and had a lot of previous clips in it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8Nd2YSduPk&t=1525s
For New Years Resolutions, people often make goals on how much weight they want to lose, what relationship status they want to attain, or similar goals that are often material in their nature. I wanted something different that was more meaningful, and could actually be obtained by little or big measures. What I've decided is what I'm calling my own personal "Quest for Positivity." Every day, no matter what my mood is or what the situation is, I will do my best to find the positive things in each day. Whether it is doing service, sending a message, showing love, or doing something that makes me feel good, just doing something daily that brings a positive spirit to my life.
This world is in chaos currently, and there is a lot of distrust and anger especially in this country. But one thing each person in this world craves for and can actually rather easily obtain is personal happiness. It can vary from person to person, but each person has an ability to obtain their own happiness. Heck, it's even stated in the Declaration of Independence; "...that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."
So in conclusion, I invite you all to have your own personal "Quest for Positivity". See how you can make a difference in your life or more importantly other peoples' lives. It can be as simple as saying hi to people, showing kindness, doing positive activities with friends and family, or writing a blog post about how you're trying to make the world a more positive place. Wait...
Good luck making the world a better place. And have fun!
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